The Pill Women Really Want

It’s here. It’s called Niagra and it’s for Male Respectile Dysfunction…

Niagra are shaped, colored and packaged to look exactly like Viagra, and, in fact, the instructions tell women to insert them into their partners’ Viagra boxes, replacing the actual Viagra.

What do they do? Nothing. Nothing at all.

And that’s the point.

Because Male Respectile Dysfunction has been a living nightmare for billions of women for centuries. Refusing to accept that women’s lives and anatomies are not designed as extensions of their own agendas, men have continued to promote penetration as “the sex act,” in spite of the fact that women’s vaginas have only about 1000 nerve endings, most of which are non-erotogenic. The neuronal wiring of the vagina has, in fact, evolved not to accommodate the phallus, but the passage of the nine-month-old baby. In spite of the overwhelming personal testimony of countless women and a sea of medical statistics, men have stubbornly persisted in defining the primary act of sex in terms of their own desires. In fact, women who refused to fake orgasms were historically labeled “frigid,” and whole industries arose to treat this non-existent condition.

But all of this is terribly boring. Read Anne Koedt’s classic, “The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm.” That should have laid the entire Viagra thing to rest four decades ago.

The point is this: Even young women with young women’s vaginas often are not fans of penetration, and it rarely signals the “main event” in terms of female orgasm. For post-menopausal women, what may have been no more than a nuisance is now a serious imposition. Aging women experience thinning of the vaginal walls and decreased lubrication. Penetration can be intensely painful, creating numerous, small lesions with resultant irritation or even infection. Fortunately, older men also undergo an aging process that results in difficulty achieving and maintaining an erection. For the first time since infancy, males and females are actually approaching something like sexual compatibility.

But then along came that blue pill cursed by millions of women around the globe: Viagra. Suddenly, men who hadn’t had an erection in years were making the sexual demands of a teenager. The mainstream pharmaceutical companies responded with a drug for women… flibanserin. Not surprisingly and unlike Viagra, this is actually a drug that messes with the brain. In fact, it was originally developed as an anti-depressant. Initially, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) unanimously voted against recommending approval… because flibanserin was about as effective as a placebo and the side effects were terrifying. Five years later, it was approved over the strenuous objections of women’s health organizations.

I have no doubt that flibanserin will take its place in the list of “treatments” for “female frigidity” that include electroshock medical torture, surgical removal of the clitoris, compulsory therapy including coerced sex with a surrogate, and the usual array of threats that can be used to force women into collusion with male sexual demands: loss of custody, incarceration, loss of shelter, loss of employment… and physical violence.

So… today, Niagra… with the clever slogan, “For women who give a dam.”

Because, sisters, there is not a “dam” thing wrong with you if you don’t like penetration. There is Respectile Dysfunction going on any time a man insists on perpetrating on your body an act that you do not find pleasurable or welcome.

You will find that the only side effects to using Niagra will be increased autonomy, enhanced trust in your relationship to your body, and, in many cases, an aroused curiosity about and willingness to explore lesbianism.